Life is very daunting for many people. If we keep our ears and our eyes open, we may find that many people need some encouragement; some need empathy; others, sympathy.

I vividly recall a conversation with a man a few short months ago. Almost the entire conversation involved him telling me of his various physical ailments that plagued him. It seemed his neck, legs, shoulders, elbows, knees, wrists, ears, back, spine, ankles, and hips all had serious ailments – some of them shockingly serious. He looked fine on the surface. He smiled a lot. He seemed to be in good spirits. Had he not regaled me with story after story of his past accidents involving motorcycle crashes, falling off bicycles, falling down stairs, accidentally being smacked with a 2 x 4, getting mugged on the street, and falling off a roof, I never would have imagined this man had any physical problems. He didn’t walk with any kind of a limp (so far as I could tell), and he didn’t look hunched over or decrepit. Yet here he was, telling me incident after incident of his infirmities.

I suspect he needed someone to talk to, someone to listen to him. My doing so may have eased him of a burden. He probably needed some outside encouragement from someone, and that someone was me. So I encouraged him to take heart, and to look to the future and the possibility that he may well overcome some, perhaps many, of the injuries he has suffered from.

I recently (as in just a few days ago) sat with a woman who grew to trust me enough to share with me some very painful experiences from her past. Married now for the second time, her current marriage is in a shambles, as was her first marriage. I won’t repeat here the particulars that I became privy to, but suffice it to say she has suffered terribly – not only at the hands of the two men she has been married to, but even due to the thoughtlessness of one of her now adult children. She has her quirks, but she is a lovely human being that certainly did not warrant being treated so horribly as she has. Still, she is a brave soul who tries to make the best of her life, such as it is.

One thing she did not need was for me to give her advice. Thus, I didn’t give her any. Instead, I listened, and I tried to be supportive, and offer encouragement where I could. I wish I could do more.

I believe people are in great need of being understood, and one of the best ways to accomplish that is to listen – without judgment, without a desire to hijack the conversation and be the “sage on the stage,” without a need to pontificate or advise. Just to be there for the person, an open book, a willing friend, a source of refuge.