I was enrolled to begin my masters degree at Claremont Graduate School (now Claremont Graduate University) in June 1996. Although I was very excited about the prospects of studying with the legendary Peter Drucker, I have to admit I was quite nervous. I was nervous because during my undergraduate studies at Brigham Young University, I was a slovenly, unserious student. The year before I attended BYU, I found out they had produced more Rhodes Scholars over the previous three years than any university in the nation save only Harvard, Yale, and Princeton. Thus, I never felt I did or could measure up, so I remained a mediocre student at BYU.

The first course I was scheduled to take at Claremont was called Negotiation and Conflict Resolution, and I was quite concerned I would fail to perform adequately. What I did to prepare for that first course is I purchased a number of books on the topic of negotiation, and I read all of them prior to the start of the class. These included Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury, Getting Past No by Roger Fisher, How To Say It: Negotiating To Win by James F. Hennig, You Can Negotiate Anything by Herb Cohen, and Negotiating Rationally by Max Bazerman. Turned out that when I began that first course in negotiation in 1996, I was way overprepared.

Back to Max Bazerman’s book, Negotiating Rationally. I learned a lot of life lessons from that book and it made me a stronger negotiator. Those skills came in handy just this last week.

A close and very important colleague of mine was going through some hard times recently. As a result, this colleague of mine, who I care about very much, began making a lot of poor decisions – in fact, I would go so far as to say he was making some self-destructive systems. It was almost like he was abusing substances (which he was not, I am happy to say). What he was doing, for reasons I still am not 100% clear on, was making very foolish financial decisions. These decisions resulted in his failing to pay one of his most important vendors his contractually-mandated monthly lease payments for the use of his office space.

I depend on this colleague for key aspects of my own business. Were he to disappear suddenly, that would have a drastic impact on my own operations.

I began hearing rumblings about his growing problems back in December. A close confidant who was aware of the situation of this colleague asked me if I might intervene, get involved in some way, lend resources to the situation to bolster the standing of my colleague. I replied at the time, “No, this is his problem and I don’t plan to rescue him. He’s a big boy. He needs to figure this out himself.”

Just this past week, word got to me that he was being sued for a substantial amount of money by the leasing agent which would result in eviction, repossession of his car, and if all of that happened, he would go from riches to rags overnight. I picked up the phone and called my colleague. I listened carefully to his explanation of why he has been in crash-and-burn mode for the better part of a year now. I still wasn’t 100% clear on where the problem stemmed from, but I knew it wasn’t about drugs, alcohol, gambling, or anything illegal.

I asked him which were the biggest, most destructive pain-points at the present time. The biggest pain-point was the fact that the leasing office, to whom he owed quite a bit in back pay, had hired a law firm to sue him for a lot more money than what he currently owed, and eviction proceedings were imminent. Also, the particular lawyer handling the case was an attorney with a reputation for being ruthless and brutal in the courtroom. . .

After much thought, I realized that my colleague’s downfall would have a profound impact on my own business. Therefore, I decided to get involved. I realized that I had to talk to the leasing agent on behalf of my colleague, and I had to get the leasing agent to terminate the services of the lawyer. This is not easy to do. Once you hire a lawyer, the person being sued is not even supposed to talk to the entity who is suing; instead, all communication must be with the lawyer.

I instructed my colleague to inform the executive of the leasing company that I would be acting as his agent to represent the interests of my colleague. The colleague passed along the message, providing my name and phone number.

The next day, just 30 minutes before I was ready to call the executive who runs the leasing firm, my phone rang. It was the it was the head of the leasing firm.

I wanted to set the stage by setting the parameters of the call. After I exchanged pleasantries, I made it very clear to the leasing executive that I simply could not allow him to sue my colleague.  Some of you reading this may consider that statement quite presumptuous if not preposterous. I did it to sound strong, determined, and resolute so that the leasing agent understood the outcome I was expecting.

Next, I informed the leasing agent that he only turned to a lawsuit because he wasn’t getting the results he needed and was entitled to – full payment for past rent on the office space.  I then told the leasing agent that I was stepping into the picture because I was in a position to satisfy his needs. But I quickly added, “However, for me to do you that favor, I am first going to need you to do me a favor.”

He knew where I was going. As if he was reading my mind, he said, “There is no way I can call off the attorney or the lawsuit. That’s not even on the table.”

I said with the same level of conviction, “Au contraire. You absolutely can call off the attorney because hiring the attorney does not serve your interests. Sure, you’ll destroy your client and his business as well as him personally. But do you think you’re going to collect any money from him? That’s definitely not going to happen if you move forward with the lawsuit. But you won’t continue with the attorney, because you’re smarter than that. I have the resources to solve the financial and collection problem almost immediately. You call off the attorney, and you get your money through me.”

He asked, “How can I trust you? I certainly can’t trust him.”

I replied, “I am 66 years of age and have a thriving business. I couldn’t have a thriving business if I was not a man of integrity. And I’ll give you a perfect example of my integrity that took place just yesterday.  I had recently committed to pay for a major purchase to a business associate involving a private transaction. I said I would pay her, in cash, on March 5th. I drove over to her office which was an hour away, but when I parked my car, I realized I had left my wallet at home. That wallet had the cash. I could easily have told her of my mistake and promised her I’d pay her the next day on the 6th. But I knew that she may have made certain decisions for that money on the assurance I gave her that I would, without fail, pay her on the 5th. So I turned my car around and drove an hour back to my home, found my wallet, and drove another hour back to her office so I could pay her as we originally agreed.”

He was moved by my account. He agreed to terminate his contract with the lawyer. But he still was concerned about solving the past problems but not solving any future problems. He didn’t want to put a Band-Aid on the past but experience more trauma in the future.

I was way ahead of him.

I told him that I had already set up certain financial procedures with my colleague that would automatically send certain financial resources straight to me and that I would be taking over all future payments to the vendor until further notice.

The vendor was satisfied. The lawsuit was rescinded. And I have made arrangements for a substantial amount of money to be wired to the vendor within 10 days. I am keeping in regular contact with the Vendor, informing him of every step being taken, every bit of progress being made, so he is not in the dark.

It’s a wonderful story. I negotiated effectively, it did cost me a small pot of gold, but saved me months of future aggravation (and even greater financial costs). The colleague realizes I saved him and his business and he will be forever in my debt. I may not ever get that money back, but I don’t care. Good was done and disaster was averted.

Negotiating rationally is a crucial skill in one’s arsenal. It can turn war to peace, conflict to camaraderie, suspicion to trust.

It can turn problems into opportunities.