Ever caught yourself saying, “I’m just not a math person” or “I’ll never be good at public speaking”? If so, congratulations—you may be in a long-term relationship with a fixed mindset. Don’t worry, though; many of us are. But like any relationship that’s gone stale, it may be time to break up and date something better: a growth mindset.

Let’s unpack what these terms mean and, more importantly, how you can shift from a fixed mindset to a growth-oriented one—and maybe even enjoy the ride.

So, What Are We Even Talking About?

Fixed Mindset: Coined by psychologist Carol Dweck, a fixed mindset is the belief that abilities, intelligence, and talents are static. People with a fixed mindset tend to think you’re either born with it, or you’re not. You failed a test? Must mean you’re dumb. Didn’t get the job? Clearly not cut out for it. Made an awkward joke at a dinner party? Time to never speak again.

Growth Mindset: On the flip side, a growth mindset believes that skills and intelligence can be developed through effort, learning, and persistence. That same failed test becomes a learning opportunity. The missed job? A step toward finding a better fit or gaining interview experience. The dinner party joke? Still painful, but hey—comedy is subjective.

Why It Matters (Besides Making You Sound Smarter at Brunch)
The mindset you carry profoundly shapes your behaviors and outcomes:

• Fixed mindset folks often avoid challenges, give up easily, and see effort as fruitless.
• Growth mindset people embrace challenges, persist through obstacles, and see effort as the path to mastery.

Research shows that adopting a growth mindset leads to better performance in school, work, and even relationships. In other words, it’s like switching from dial-up to fiber optic—same you, just operating way faster and with more possibilities.

The 5-Step Process to Shift Toward a Growth Mindset
Now that you know what a growth mindset is, let’s dive into the “how-to” part. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t involve incense, mantras, or spending thousands on a self-help guru named something like “Cosmic Dave.”

Step 1: Catch Your Inner Critic in the Act
Start by identifying the voice of the fixed mindset. You know the one:
“I’ll never be good at this.”
“This is too hard.”
“They’re better than me, so why even try?”
Every time that voice pops up, mentally label it. Call it “Debbie Downer,” “Negative Nancy,” or “Bob the Buzzkill”—whatever makes you chuckle and recognize it’s not actually you, but a conditioned script.

🧠 Pro tip: Awareness is the first step in change. If you don’t catch the thought, you can’t challenge it.

Step 2: Add the Magic Word — “Yet”
Turn “I don’t understand this” into “I don’t understand this… yet.”
That three-letter word is like the duct tape of mindset work—simple, inexpensive, and surprisingly powerful.
“I can’t lead a team… yet.”
“I’m not good at coding… yet.”
“Yet” keeps the door open. It’s the ultimate optimism cheat code.

Step 3: Reframe Failure as Feedback
People with fixed mindsets see failure as a reflection of their identity. Growth mindset folks? They treat failure like a personal trainer—it may hurt, but it helps.

So when something doesn’t go your way, ask:

• What did I learn?
• What would I do differently next time?
• Is there a skill I can develop to improve?

Yes, it’s frustrating to fall flat. But it’s also how you build the resilience muscle. Just think of each failure as your brain doing push-ups—even if it occasionally face-plants.

Step 4: Celebrate Effort Over Outcome
One of the biggest mindset shifts is learning to praise the process, not just the result.

Instead of saying:
“You’re so smart!”
Try:
“You worked really hard on that!”

To yourself, say:
“I’m proud I pushed through.”
“I took a risk today, and that’s growth.”
Rewarding effort reinforces the idea that you are in control of your progress.

🪩 Bonus tip: Keep a “growth wins” journal—jot down any time you try something new, persist, or learn from a setback. It’s like a highlight reel of becoming awesome.

Step 5: Surround Yourself with Growth-Minded Vibes
Just like you wouldn’t hang out with someone who boos every time you try something new (unless you’re into performance art), you shouldn’t feed your brain a steady diet of discouragement.
Curate your content: Follow creators, podcasts, books, and social feeds that encourage learning and effort.
Find your tribe: Connect with people who value improvement over perfection.
Set growth goals: These are goals that focus on learning, not just achieving. For example: “Improve my public speaking by practicing weekly,” not “Get a standing ovation.”

The more you build a growth-oriented environment, the more your mindset will adapt and thrive.

Final Thoughts: Your Mind Is a Muscle—Use It or Lose It
Shifting from a fixed to a growth mindset isn’t like flipping a light switch. It’s more like upgrading from a flip phone to a smartphone: it takes a little adjustment, you’ll press the wrong button a few times, and you might miss Snake, but eventually you’ll wonder how you ever lived without it.

So the next time you’re tempted to say, “I can’t,” try instead, “I can learn.” Give your brain that metaphorical gym membership, and soon, you’ll be lifting heavier dreams and running marathons toward your potential.