Sharon Stone, who starred in such movies as “Basic Instinct,” “Casino,” “Silver,” and “Total Recall” isn’t all that active in the Hollywood movie scene these days. At age 66, it’s been more than a decade since she’s appeared in film, and while her net worth is said to be roughly $20 million, it may be less than that. I recall reading an article about her, perhaps a year or two ago, where she mentioned that when she goes out to dinner with, say, 7 or 8 friends (none of whom are famous or successful at a “celebrity-level”) Sharon always pays the tab for a dinner that ran close to $1,500. She pointed out that it is just sort of understood by everyone involved that Sharon will pay the bill.

I know of another individual, a woman who has published at least one book. In a recent conversation with her, she confided that whenever she goes out to dinner with a group of people, say, 2 or 3, the assumption of her dining companions is that she, the author, must be rich since she published a book, and that therefore she, the author, will pay for everyone’s dinner. But she’s not rich by any stretch of the imagination.

In a similar vein, I have noticed that when I have stepped in to show generosity to a person, which I have a habit of doing, said person has often perceived me to be a man of unlimited wealth, and thus a source of future generosity to that person’s future needs. The number of people who have asked to borrow money, sometimes in the range of $500, sometimes in the range of double that, other times much, much more than that, has grown over the years. As I reflect on those very people who have sought what they all said was a loan (a loan that, to date, has never been paid back in full, and usually not even paid back in part) I realize that their request for financial help always came following some other act of generosity on my part.

I suppose this topic serves as a sort of post script to my article in the Self-Development column above, on “Helping Others Succeed.” Helping others succeed does carry with it a warning: if we are not careful, we can become a source of dependency on others whom we have helped in the past; they may well see us as a source of continual aid and support. Generosity is a good and noble thing, yet it could render the giver to become a target of the needy, and there just isn’t enough wealth in all the world to accommodate every need and every request.

It’s a dichotomy, a conundrum, a puzzle. . .